The nearness of you

by Yas Jayson Thursday, June 24, 2010 11 palagay amor ordinem nescit di na naman in-edit pensive bottles randomness

I could sing you a lullaby while stroking those soft hair of yours or hum like the birds outside when I see you with eyes closed. You are not some ordinary person and waking up in the middle of a good night's dream feeling your hand under my head is completely forgivable. I actually like it. It's almost like winning the lottery.

We are sleeping on a friendly bed, it was neither cold nor warm. The room smells of strawberry and tequila, reminding me of my first trip in Trinidad Valley two years ago. I could write long and sensible sentences back then. Today, I sit on the couch near the window to write in silly grammar.

This day will end soon and I want to scribble some words before I go to sleep alone again come the night.

What is distance?

How near to reality is a dream? When you see your self in a dream, does that really mean that you are there? If yes, how is that suppose to mean? If not, then why does it sometimes occur that you feel the same emotion in the dream when you wake up? When we dream that we cried, we wake up with tears in our eyes. When we dream that we played under the rain, we wake up soaked and wet. How can we describe this becoming of ideas that solely exists in our minds?

Waking up with you by my side is a beautiful dream, so near to reality  that I am feeling your body next to mine, your hand tapping my back in a gesture of reminding me that I shall not fear, my head so close to your heart, yet so distant because we are bound to two different realities.

Do you remember our talk about divinity? I was tipsy when I was discussing to you the reality of God and the problem of religion. You listened and reasoned well with that signature wide smile of yours, nodding in every convenient ideas I say and raising questions on the difficult ones. We talked about ironic human condition and economic realities. I cannot remember what was the joke when you suddenly fell on the floor. I helped you stand. We were giggling like jejemons.

Or is it the actual distance that separates us? We are inches away from each other yet it will take a complete earth's rotation to reach you. To come near you will mean crossing timezones and borders. It means covering some forty million kilometers of land and sea, travelling on the exact proportion of time elapse that would take a complete planetary rotation so as not to miss you on the exact moment I left to come to you. See? I even did the math which I hate. You read this and you know how much I want to pick you out from that world of dreams to my imperfect world.

Do you know about the movie Inkheart? In case you do not, it is a beautiful story about a man and his daughter who has a unique ability to read out characters from the book. They are called Silver Tongues. It's like reading aloud a story and letting the characters join the human particular world thus, becoming. Things will be much easier if this is our case. I will just search the world to find a Silver Tongue to read you out from the favorite fairy tale I read or, to let him read me in so as I will be in the same world as yours.

While I am writing these random words, you are peacefully sleeping as if you are in your mother's womb.

I wish I could spend my every waking up like this.