by
Sunday, May 08, 2011
4
palagay
di na naman in-edit
pensive bottles
the few things i hold on to
vita brevis
It was May and the term has just ended. My first year in the seminary was extremely memorable and fun. I went home with all my books and clothes, leaving nothing of a trace that I once stayed there. She was wearing her usual smile when she opened the gate, she didn't know I was expelled.There is a Visayan lullaby about a mother buying bread. I could still remember former days of waking up and finding the bed next to me empty. And there at the gate, just before the first light of the day hit our glass window, she would be entering with hot pan de sal in brown paper bag and some nice breakfast.
Ili-ili tulog anay. Wala diri imong nanay. Kadto tienda bakal papay. Ili-ili tulog anay.
It was that same May of three years ago when she went on. Just some few days before I turned seventeen. That was really heartbreaking, seeing your mama wait for you from a long day just to have a company to hospital. She didn't want any other else to bring her. She wanted me. And wanted me late.
Many relatives say I am so like her. I could talk and think with the same nobility and brilliance she possessed. That flatters very very much. After all, I like it. I am a Mama's boy.
Three years after, I would still want her back sometimes. I know there is more life after her and I have moved on. Afterall, she has moved to her loving God.
If Nimmy, Leomer and Louie find my perkiness overwhelming on my first Bachetto night, I think they have caught a glimpse of what type of mother I have.
Mama, wherever you are, stay there. Do not visit me or I would be a screaming shit. I am fine and I have good friends. I cannot send you flowers. Please do not send me one or I will be screaming hell. I am well and I profoundly remember our memories. I love you. Happy Mama's Day.
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Oh, Happy Mother's day too to my Ate and Amma!
4 palagay:
At naiyak at natawa naman ako ng sabay diba? :)
Kagaya ni Nimrod, napaaawww at natawa on the side. :)
Hey Yas, I think this is the third post I read about your mom. And with every retelling of the story, we come to better terms of our losses in life.
Kane
Life is always with loss. Because all that there is on this earth are but temporal and fleeting. Except memories, those we could hold on to our last breath. She never really left, she's still here. With you, in you. I've never met your mother, but I'm pretty sure she's proud of you.
Let's have a cup sometime soon.
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