when our loving is tested

by Yas Jayson Friday, November 17, 2017 1 palagay god of greater scheme leaving and living people are people

Making a choice between good and bad often comes easy, as it normally employs the ability of our self to determine opposites. But I have learned the hard way that choosing between two good things is far more difficult. Especially if we are prompted to choose between a good and a greater good.

The past four weeks had been very eventful and I have witnessed so many. For starter, I've been to three birthdays and two funeral, all of people who are close to me.

I know of five friends who have been recently got sick, some diagnosed with HIV. 

I knew about five more sick people who are relatives of my friends.

My younger sister and her fiance are on the verge of breaking their engagement.

My youngest sister broke down with depression.

The list of woes seemed endless. I saw how my friends try to keep up with the loss of their loved ones. I saw how they stay strong in the midst of piling medical bills and sleeplessness. I saw how they broke into tears and how it broke my heart too but silently.

When our loving is tested especially by sickness and by death, it usually comes with a loss. We do our best to wrestle with the impossible, we negotiate with death, we want to obtain the best possible answers, the best cures, the best reasons for our loving. And we begin to put the welfare of the other before ourselves. That's when we begin to realize - beneath the pain of our love being tested - how to love genuinely. That to love others genuinely is by as we would love ourselves. Piercing. Total. Consuming. Tagos. Lubos. Ubos. We love until either the other or ourselves are consumed. Until we have nothing else to give but our presence.

Greater good. Often it is the most inconvenient and most painful choice between two good things. It demands too much sacrifice and gives very little pleasure.