by
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
6
palagay
di na naman in-edit
home sweet home
pensive bottles
the few things i hold on to
Her life was a perfect mix of enthusiasm, vibrancy and delight. She could have been forty eight this year, probably busy panic buying school supplies and uniforms or spending long hours in swimming lessons with Papa. Of all Tolentinos, she was the only one who cannot swim, an irony for having a professional swimmer as spouse. She was the PTA president of my little sisters' classes since they started school. An activist during the heights of the Marcos regime, she continued to defy conventions on her own grounds until her last breath.
She was a Gabriela Silang. She had been on local news several times, either embracing a ballot box as if its the single most important thing in her life or as an interviewed protester against illegal demolition in the 90's. She was poor and has the dignity of a well educated woman. She has an unshakable faith and is very good with morals and ethics. She is the brightest person I ever know, a woman full of light, a woman for others.
She was an avid Koreanovela fan. During the days when blue ray discs are not yet known and pirated DVD copies of television series are beyond Optical Media Board's imagination, she already has a 30-volume copy of Jewel in the palace. She was a singer, er, I cannot say much about this one. I could still remember her singing the songs of David Pomeranz. La la la :D
I am full of idealism, she was well principled. I do not know how to manage money, she was the typical Ilocana who is very economical. I am spread too thin in different roles and responsibilities, she was a pro in managing time and resources. They said I look and act much like her, I say I'm a poor attempt.
For two years, I have been missing this girl. Though moved on, I still miss her unique way of calling me, her fashion, her loud laughters. I miss the times we went out just for her fascination to ukay-ukay and to pasta. I miss making coffee for her. Gah, I could only do this much. I can only write about time machines and time warps so there are days that I will always remember, chasing nights to make my days better.
I have continued to live right after she went on, trying to be her best eldest son. I am Mama's boy, as always, through and through.
Vita mutatur, non tollitur.
-------------------------------------
'Here lies a loving wife, a doting mother and a good friend.
To her life is changed, not ended.'
-inscription on Mama's tombstone
+AMDG
6 palagay:
hayz, nararamdaman kita elias. yung pakiramdam na nangungulila sa isang minamahal. kaya mo yan, andito naman mga kaibigan mo at iba pang loved ones na handa kang suportahan.
seryoso to tsong!
ang mabubuting tao, nasa heaven... kaya naman maging masaya tayo para sa kanilang nauna na.. though, namimiss natin sila.. natural lang yun...hehe
ampogi ko talaga:D
(anung connect?..lol)
unang beses kong nabasa itong isang mong blog. kaibigan, kasama sa pamisa mamaya si ina. at kahit di kita masamahan, ipagdadasal ko siya.
alam ko ang pakiramdam. nakikisimapatya ako.
happy birthday inay.
Yes, indeed. My mother and I would always have coffee together at home. On Saturday mornings, we would go to a coffee shop for Espresso and biscotti di Prato. My mother was my best friend and when she left me forever, I felt as if my body was cut in half. Inside me, I felt as if I had an internal injury that was hurting so much and it felt as if it would never heal forever.
There are no bang-on words to describe the sorrow of losing one's mother. She is indeed a light that guides us, and when that light goes dim, we are left all alone in the dark – confused, overwhelmed, hopeless.
But that light would flicker again, grow brighter and brighter again, by reminiscing her greatness, her selflessness, her sacrifices – for us. She will be always there to inspire us. She's no longer there, yet she's just there beside us. She will, in fact, be with us forever.
"Infanti mater similis est Deo"
(Mother is God in the eyes of a child).
Yes, we'll always be our mothers' children... forever.
at ano na namang ka-emo-han 'to? tigilan na ang drama. wherever she is, am pretty sure she's watching over you.
kaya behave.
It's not the first time I've read about death or loss, but a good writer is able to make you care about his or her particular loss.
Hay Yas, some of us learn life's lessons at a younger age. You write beautifully. I think she must have been beautiful.
Kane
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