star light, star bright

by Yas Jayson Tuesday, December 24, 2013 7 palagay leaving and living may masabi lang

Someone said we are not the sum of our conquests. That hit me. For the past few months, I was busy meeting other people, finding them and trying to appear pleasant. I tell guys I am up for dates, only to find my self naked with more than half of them. I felt validated, that I can get the type of men I would want. Conquests. But after the carnal is filled, I am still feel empty and unlovable.

Back there in a bar somewhere in Cubao where no stars fade, I saw how many men and boys were in search of affection. It could be few hundreds, a portion of thousands awake that night in many parts of the world who move and dance and drink and hope. Hope that in one strike of strobe light on their faces or in the corners dark, hope blossoms.

So what happens when I stop worrying about boys and dates and hookups? What would happen?

I don't know but I got a plan. I'll begin to look after myself more, love that person I neglected thinking he would just be okay. I'll love him more, I'll see to it he'll be more passionate with the more important things. I'll teach him being a good boy is not about how well he carries himself in a conversation but how much he means the words he says. I'll tell him to stop looking elsewhere when in fact love comes when it is ready to be received.